I just read my “Why I Run” post, and have been unsatisfied with it. I wrote that on a whim, and it was very much a train of thoughts type of post. But I don’t think it fully encompasses what running is to me. I think I’m trying too hard to relate all of my posts here into medicine and art, to fit the theme of the blog. But truth be told, my life is more than art and medicine. And while some of my activities do relate to these two passions, sometimes they fulfill completely different roles of their own. And that’s that. I feel like writing about running, but do not feel like starting a new blog. So here we are. The Art of Medicine blog is taking on running. If you’re interested, then keep on readin’ If not, stay tuned for more medicine or art related posts in the future.
My relationship with running has evolved quite a bit. I used to run just for the heck of it in high school. Then, in college, I began to fall more and more in love with it. The moment I started running completely on my own accord was when I realized how much I needed this physical activity in my life.
The reason I run varies. Sometimes, it’s for a primarily social reason. Maybe a friend wants to run, and I want to talk. So we run and talk, and then talk some more. Or the running club girls are doing a workout, and I want to feel part of team and create memories through the struggle. Sometimes, it’s because the weather is just too damn nice. I want to spend time outside in the woods, soak up some sun, hear the birds chirp, and exercise while doing so. During these wonderful days, I can be seen trotting in a wooded area by my college, smile on my face, just happy to exist.
Other times, I run because my day was absolutely shitty. And sitting in the pit of my stomach is a miserable ball of stress, anxiety, exhaustion, sadness. I run to dissolve this ball of wretched feelings. The harder I push my body, the more I scorch my lungs to their max, the better I end up feeling.
Sometimes, I run to run away. Kind of in a literal sense, but also in a figurative one. I am actually running further from my responsibilities, and whatever is bothering me, creating this literal space between me and my problems. But I am also in certain ways numbing myself from the issue. This mental numbing is like figuratively “running away.” Times like this, I really have some life issue, failure, or disappointment that has happened, and all I can do is create some purposeful physical pain to cope.
I also run for a sense of control. To create a fine-tuned engine of a body, increasingly limitless in its strength and endurance. Amongst all that I cannot control, at least I have power over my own self-discipline, my own body. As a result, I feel like an absolute super-human, ready to take on anything.
And lastly, I run to push past my own limits. To fight against my body, the weakness of my own mind. I run to test the boundaries of my physicality, to improve upon my previous PRs (personal records). I run even when my body is willing me to stop because I know at the end of the day, this is just one of many runs– some more difficult than the previous. This run is just a flicker in time, but it means so much more. Because this run is like the run of a lifetime. When I feel too tired to get up in the morning. When my body feels 20 years older than it should. When self-doubt creeps in, and I feel like giving up. But still, I push, one step, then another, upwards to the top of the incline, aware and invigorated that this is just one hill of many more mountains.
Hope you guys enjoyed this post. Would love to read some of your thoughts in the comment section
Art of Medicine 